Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
