Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize