life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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