We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
