yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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