soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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