She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize