So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
