so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
