I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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