he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
