we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
