I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
