dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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