Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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