is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
