He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
