That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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