She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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