you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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