Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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