True but thats because hes a fetus.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
