At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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