i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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