my mouth tastes like poor choices
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
