Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
