I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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