i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
