im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
