i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
