Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
