my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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