how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
