worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
