Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
