I'm so fucking centered right now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
