i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
