my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
