I CAN MOONWALK!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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