I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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