apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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