You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
