and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
