I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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