Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
