I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's blow job season.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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