U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
