You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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