whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
