My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
