dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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