Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
