It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I supernannyed him into submission
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
