I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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