You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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