Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize