To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
