get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
