She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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