Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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