dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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