So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize