I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
