u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
