I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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