apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
